Freedom, Hunger and Heels

Management was away today. Quiet. Serene. Peaceful. Is it me or is everyone more productive when their every move isn't being scrutinized and criticized? If walls have ears and eyes, why are they missing a nose? Wouldn't it be politically correct, if walls could have all aspects of a face, at least in speaking.

I had a burning desire to accomplish today. Nothing could reign me in. I plunged through so completely with such vigor that I forgot all about my supper. Until of course, my stomach protested and I had to relent. One must! You see... stomach rules mind. If ones stomach is satiated, one's mind can pursue things of greater importance.

Also, I discovered the many inadequacies of carrying large cumbersome objects while attempting to glide in high heels. Quite difficult. Poise cannot be maintained. Must keep in mind for future reference. Such I end my discourse on what I learnt today. More soon. Stay tuned.

To sleep or not to sleep, that is the question!

So I awoke to a sense of vagrant disinterest this morning. I did not want to climb out of bed. Furthermore, I did not want to inch myself to the beckoning water closet. And least of all, did not want to primp and preen myself in order to get to work. Work... hm... are you sure it is absolutely necessary to go to work every morning?

I think not. The occasional faux sick day should be completely acceptable. Especially when the lazy warmth of the rising sun is embracing the comfortable cushiony nook of nightly repose. I slip my hand out from under the covers and reach into the warm rays breaking through the dark reaches of my room. I pull at nothing in particular and sink back into the billowing goose down comforter. I close my eyes and hope that night will return so I can enjoy a few more moments of dreamy respite. But the light has now shifted to my face and I cannot pretend...

I drag my feet to one side and wait. Perhaps I shall be lucky and there might be a few more minutes to spare in idle splendour but one glance at the despicable alarm clock is enough to ensure that night's sweet spell must wane at once and be followed swiftly by a flurry of instant activity. But my lethargic body has other ideas in mind. My weight shifts to allow my body to slowly inch itself to the cold, sharp edges of the bed. I shiver as the comforter shifts and more uncovered flesh is exposed to the crisp air blowing from the tornado-like motions of a portable fan. I sigh and lower my lashes, to protect my reluctant eyes from engaging the world that seems to be unravelling around me.

And then comes a sharp female shriek that could put a wild west damsel to shame and I bolt upright in bed. I am now awake.

A state of affairs

The American dream. Millions of people all around the world strive to be part of it. Those in third world countries watch Hollywood blockbusters and imagine a world with no hunger, no suffering, no struggling for existence and no meaningless mortality. Sounds very la vie en rose, doesn't it?

Ever speak to a Mexican or Canadian about their American Ally and most will turn up their noses and scoff. Majority of the world's population does not look upon Americans kindly. Most like myself, find the average American arrogant, ignorant, rude and unbelievably self absorbed. In matters of politics, the evil eye is more in accordance then the acknowledging nod. The Bush administration doesn't quite comprehend the concept of foreign policy. It's really not their fault. I mean, you can't really be expected to understand the world if you've never had the courage to leave Texas and explore it.

Be that as it may. This new fascination with Iran... Really? Now that the US has successfully destroyed the millennia old civilization of Badhdad, best turn their attention to the neighbouring Persians. Hiroshima & Nagasaki, Vietnam and South Korea weren't enough to allow the Americans to see that their interference in cultures they did not understand, came to no avail. They claim that they are liberating people and de-clawing terrorists by destroying weapons of mass destruction.

Ever wonder how many weapons of Mass Destruction exist in the US today? They are the only ones that has ever used them in full combat against another country (Japan). What is so wrong about the rest of us defending ourselves in the same way the US defends itself. Especially the Middle East. They've already raped and pillaged Iraq. Now they're after Iran. How is it that, their economy is on a sharp decline yet they seem to constantly be in funds such that they can propagate war and make threats at the drop of a hat.

I think the world should rise up and say Nay. I think that the United Nations needs new blood. I think the US is getting a taste of their own medicine. What does a people know about the value of life if they've never had to fight for existence or justice on their own soil. What gives one country the right to tell another how to live under threat of invasion or destruction. To impose their will on those, who do not have the resources to fight back. Patriotism, Totaliarinism or Terrorism... its a matter of perspective.

Every great nation/civilization has fallen. History always repeats itself. The meek will inherit the earth and it will all end in a whimper.

A bit of gossip

He said. She said. Notice how there is so much to talk about and yet, nothing is said at all.


So many interesting things are happening around the world as we speak... global warming, terrorism, Olympics 2008, escalating gas prices, sinking economy and so on and so forth. But the words that escape our lips hour after hour and supplement the stratosphere, are rarely worth transmitting.

Gossip is as old as the origins of human language. Much like the mosquitoes from the Jurassic period, it has survived war, famine and the industrial revolution and has ingrained itself so completely into today's society that often times, one's nighttime reading consists of a judicious magazine pertaining to the sordid affairs of those poor beings who were unfortunate enough to be remotely famous.

Poor Britney's bottom has suffered such ridicule that I wonder how it dares to expose itself, even for a daily cleaning. Let's not forget Richard Gere's poor judgement on kissing an Indian actress. One's aim for fame should not include burning effigies in every slum in India. Or poor Obama running for office. Its really not his fault that his name rhymes with Osama.

But the tabloids have nothing on your everyday gossip. Its positively electric. Writers out there would really benefit from tapping into this useful resource. The conversation on either end of the mobile or chatroom is sizzling, captivating and positively mind blowing. From affairs at the workplace to terminating pregnancies, the conversation is unbelievably riveting and spreads faster then fire in an acre of hay.

Why watch television? Look around you... Life is entertaining! ;)

I despair

I feel a bit lost today. As if a door has been closed on me. I'm in darkness. No shapes. No contours. No shadows. Not a glimmer of light.

I feel like I need to conserve what energy I have left. I'm on the edge of a precipice. One more step, and I'll be diving into an eternal abyss. I'm screaming in earnest but there is no sound. Like the starling in Lawrence Sterne's A Sentimental Journey, I seem to keep repeating... "I can't get out". I feel trapped. Shackled.

I had an incident in the office yesterday. She said, "I'm giving you professional advice because I am concerned for you and the seat you sit in." Exactly what does that mean? Does that mean, that her aim is to get me fired or does it mean that she thinks that that outcome is definitely coming my way. She said several other things but I'm just transfixed by that sentence. I cannot seem to bend my mind into thinking of anything else. Thoughts flutter in every direction and somehow just keep coming back to this sentence. I am not upset. Nor am I afraid should that be on the agenda. I'm just appalled that anyone in a managerial position could talk to anyone that way. I don't even report to her.

I'm at a loss. What should I do? Look for work elsewhere? If so, where? Doing what exactly? I feel threatened. Its an odd sensation... of imaginary walls closing in on you. Of there being no windows or doors. No light. No air. I cannot sleep... my thoughts have been kidnapped by an omnipresent sentence. I cannot escape from its clutches. I cannot breathe. I cannot win.

Corner Gas?

Gas prices are killing me softly. I'm a nervous wreck every single time the little hand that looks like a mini windshield wiper hits the 3rd quarter on the dial.

I have to admit I'm one of those silly people who has a separate pair of gloves in the car for weekly refills. The fuel cap is always so stubborn that once you've managed to turn it by a cm, your triceps, biceps and deltoids are giving raised eyebrows the impression that you indulge in competitive body building. And of course... every time you're out of that car, every bug known to man declares hunting season on you. How on earth are you expected to get that silly nozzle to fit when you're desperately trying to swat the mosquitoes and curse the day insects inherited the earth. I mean... even multi-tasking has its limits.

If rendezvous at Petro-Canada in the summer isn't blissful enough... filling 'er up in the winter is such a joy. Its like the wind has a vendetta against you... the moment you step out of the car... wham ... its starts to blow and doesn't quit until you're a shivering heap, devoid of any sensation in any of your extremities... then you slowly ease yourself into the warmth of your semi warm car and with a speed that would put a cheetah to shame, turn the dial on your dashboard to full... so the heat can thaw you from the freezer burn you just received.

I tried to carpool, take public transit and even walk... anything to prevent venturing into the depths of Petroleum hell but to no avail. Suburbia is not for the pedestrian unless the pedestrian is looking for neither quality nor quantity of life. And thus the battle of the pump continues.